For me, the overarching, mother and father of all things that sustained me was God. It has been and continues to be key for me. I must confess, prior to my depression, I was heavily involved in church, but during the years I was depressed, church was usually a one-off thing. Deep inside I knew God was the only being who could sustain me but just didn’t have the desire or bandwidth to draw closer to God. Frankly, I prayed but I always felt the more I prayed, the worse things got and nothing was getting better. And I was extremely upset at God when my relationship ended because at the time, that was all I was holding on to. Its safe to say I was bitter towards God. But I was raised to believe in God. I had had practical encounters with God and had seen him do miracles in my life. I had seen Him turn things around for me through prayer and so as much as I felt he wasn’t there, that things weren’t getting any better, I knew deep down he’s the only one I had and the only reason I was still alive. I knew he loved me and wanted me to live and prosper. So deep down, secretly, I was trusting and anticipating God’s intervention, even in my despair and paralyzed state. You see, I had reached rock bottom; was so drowned in my sorrow and grief that nothing was going to get me back out except God’s interference. From where I stand right now, I have no doubt it is God who has brought me where I am, because I don’t know how else I could have made it. Think back to a time when you were happy, and write down some of the things that sustained you. Was it medication? Relying on a higher being? What was it?
I have shared below some scriptures that were particularly helpful during during these times time:
Mathew 10:30 – …and even the hairs of your head are all numbered…
Jeremiah 29:11 – For i know the plans I have for you…Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future
Isaiah 49:16 – …see I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me…
Psalm 88:1-2 – … day and night I cry out to you. May my prayer come before you; Turn your ear to my cry
1 Peter 5:7 – Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you
Psalm 27:13 – I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living
Psalm 46:1-2 – God is my refuge and strength…Therefore I will not fear…
Romans 12: 12 – Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.
I have also included below some of the songs that kept me a bit sane.They are not particularly my favourites but they really spoke to me during my dark times. Two songs 1) Praise You In The Storm and 2) Does Anybody Hear Her, both on the “LifeSong” album by Casting Crown.
Here are links to both songs.
Praise You In the Storm – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L5bLvVjJ4MA
Does Anybody Hear her – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEhRucEVzH8
I am still quite amazed at God because it all doesn’t make sense to me. Even the fact that I am writing about it is a miracle. Most people don’t talk or write about this because it can be embarrassing or they feel they’ll be stereotyped. Instead, I feel hopeful, proud, encouraged and sustained. I feel stable, aware and alive! I hope this is helpful to you and that one day you too can feel the same.
If you are reading this and depressed, I want to let you know that this feeling is temporary and you will overcome it. It won’t be quick or instant like the mood swings, but it is possible. Try and breathe. Living everyday feeling like you are drowning is obviously not the best way to live. You mean so much to the people in your life and sacrificing yourself due to depression is the saddest thing you could leave them with. You have so much to live for. Tell/talk to someone and if you have no one to talk to or need someone, email me at email@example.com or send me a message via whatapp on +233507011213 and lets chat and pray together (only if you are comfortable with it)
Reader’s note: I would like to clarify that depression is different for everyone and I’m not prescribing anything but hoping my story will empower someone with depression to know there is light at the end of the tunnel. May this piece allow them to feel less lonely and a bit happier even if it is only for today.
Source : Fabulously Fit and Fine