EXPRESSIONS Non-Fiction Opinion

THE LICE KNOW BETTER: NOT-EXACTLY-A-DISSERTATION ON THE HAIR OF THE WOMAN

Just a humorous piece, no hard feelings ladies.

Probably after God moulded the woman, his last touch was the hair and he added it with a smile for He knew it was, if you would allow it, the woman’s best feature. Adam seemed to forget to add ‘the hair of my hair’ to his first adoring statement when he met Eve but he sure did fall when she flung her hair off her shoulders and brought the fruit to his lips. When the divine judge took the case, he realized the woman’s hair was so influential in the fall that he named his headgear ‘the wig’, a tribute to the hair of the woman.

hair1

The hair of a woman has been called her grace and beauty. True? Well, I leave it to you. But it certainly could be along the line of the truth as women are so particular about their hair. The bevy of women you meet standing whispering in the middle of the corridor could well be talking about the new salon or the latest hairstyle, or may be gossiping about the next-door lady who naturally has long hair and does not need extensions. The green-eyed monster will surely be seen standing in their midst.

A man called Absalom once got himself stuck in a tree by his hair. I am sure the dumbest woman wouldn’t have fallen for that, for women are very adept at handling their hair and using it to the best of purposes. Ask Rapunzel, who practically used her hair to woo a man, or Snow White who used her hair to attract the envy of her mistress, or Medusa, whose snakes for hair petrified her enemies. Creepy!

The creativity of the woman reaches its peak when it comes to the hair. Start from the cornrow to the dreadlocks, to the weave-on, the antedated jerry curls, to the fringes that were once common to only the Europeans but are now a favourite of Africans too, and maybe leaving much to wonder, the Mohawk.

hair2

Therefore, with that much creativity oozing out of the woman just because of her hair, the importance of the hair to the woman has increased in proportion. Try testing this by taking a stroll during a rainy day and you will be sure to see, women dashing through the falling tears of heaven with polyethene bags adorning their hair like a surgeon’s cap, or carrying dainty umbrellas that they have fished from their handy convenience stores; their handbags (another item of fascination). Now if you are brave enough to ask, the candid ones will make it clear that it is hardly about their clothes getting wet than their hair getting soaked. For most women, a rainy day is a bad hair day.

It is not surprising then that the hair of the woman has spawned its own mammoth of an industry—the wig, on a scale beginning from hundred per cent horsehair to hundred per cent human hair depending on the amount of purchasing power you have in your bag. If that amount is large enough, it can grant the woman the golden opportunity of choosing between hair from a corpse and hair that was shaved fresh off a living, healthy fellow lady. Next is the wide range of hair chemicals (conditioners, moisturizers, shampoos, gels, creams, sprays), some of which might just corrode your hair and probably should be labelled with a high toxicity safety symbol. Then we move to the ribbons, hair pins, hair bands, scarves, tiaras, brushes, combs, hair dryers, curlers, tonging machines and a host of other stuff. Then, after all, these have been put together, a hair parlour is of the essence and our friend, the hairdresser is in a booming business as long as she can couple these with dextrous fingers.

hair5

When Willow Smith announced to the world that she was going to release a single, the whole world froze only long enough to be served with ‘I whip my hair back and forth’. I don’t remember her age then, but I could see clearly that she was just learning to be a woman. For me she was learning well… she was just a hair’s breadth away.

Want to know more about the woman’s hair, try asking women themselves, or maybe the lice that have lost their abode in the hair of the woman because of the new era of hair chemicals.

Author: Kwasi ‘Sei, threesixtyGh Writer

Email: agyapongmichael3@gmail.com

 

Leave a Comment

DON’T MISS OUT!
Like What You Read?
Be the first to get latest updates and exclusive content straight to your email inbox.
Stay Updated
Give it a try, you can unsubscribe anytime.