EXPRESSIONS Fiction

Bang Bang Everywhere!

“Man shall not live by bread alone….” was my favourite quotation in my second year of tertiary education. Not that I attached meaning to it as the Bible meant but my own personal adventures made me love this quotation. It was all fun & exciting during that period.

Yaaya was the girlfriend peer pressure and tertiary education gave me. It was that period where all the friends I moved about with had a lady with whom they’d go and lie with right after lectures. During the first year, my laptop & my gamepads were my companions. A fresher who had been sternly advised by his parents; that was me.

Yaaya & I started dating in the second year. Before the relationship could start, she came up with a list of dos & don’ts. It was a long list which I wouldn’t bore you here with but one of the demands – which my friends obviously weren’t subject to with their girlfriends – was “No sexual intercourse. Let’s keep our bodies holy & acceptable unto God.”

At the beginning, I wasn’t bothered because the fresher’s mentality with parents’ advice was still ringing in my ears. I jumped into it. It was a good thing, I thought. I had to explore new things.

Yaaya was a Christian who wouldn’t joke with her church services & her worship periods. Days I slept over, we’d do a devotion the next morning. She took me to upper levels every morning. She was spiritually loaded.

Third year came quickly and we celebrated a year of our union. It was crowned with seven (7) days fasting and prayers and not a moment at a four-star restaurant. The third year was rough, my hormones started to develop. Man had wants and obviously man shan’t leave by bread alone. I met Serwaa. She was rounded in shape & I bet you would have fallen in love with what was behind her. Because of her front, Pastors stared at the ceiling whenever she sat in the front row.

As to whether I propose to her or not, I really can’t tell. All I know is, soon, I found myself wrapped in her arms, like the song “Wrap me in your arms” by William McDowell which Yaaya taught me. It started in her kitchen one afternoon when I paid her a visit and after that moment, the rest became history.

Then, there came the hall, the uncompleted building down the road, her mum’s shop by the road. Bang bang, we did it everywhere, anytime and in whatever mood we were in. One could prophesy that I was long overdue due to my previous period of dormancy.

“Yaaya has kept me in darkness all this while. I have seen the light now”, I murmured to myself after one good night with Serwaa.

Obviously, I was living life to the fullest while Yaaya was still kept in darkness because I never mentioned anything about my escapades. I had to keep it real to myself: Yaaya was the one who could help me build myself up and Serwaa was there to keep me updated with the current positions available on Play Store for downloading. I had to live but not by bread alone but by every opportunity that jumped in my way. Philosophers now will tell you not to jump at every opportunity but what is the essence of failure if you don’t drink from the cup of fake opportunities to know the taste of it.

My adventures didn’t last for long. Serwaa met another guy who drives a Porsche car while I was fighting with ladies for shuttle seats. I had to forget Serwaa and all the fun she came with. Prodigal boyfriend that I was, I crept my way back into Yaaya’s abode as if I had been a good boy. Yaaya almost did me a bang-bang with her door but she remembered her Bible verses. I told you she was an ardent Christian.

Bang bang everywhere and Serwaa is still being banged by different men.


WRITER: Gerald Adjei

IMAGE: Google

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